Snow + Sobriety = Stupidity

So for some reason I was helping my land lady shovel the snow off the walk in the front of my building. During one of the numerous breaks she mentioned my stupid idea of doing the Polar Bear swim.

Basically the Polar Bear swim is a huge bunch of morons jumping into the cold sea on new years day. Clothing and participating in the actual race is optional.

So it was suggested to me that it would be great practice for the swim to jump into the snow in my jocks. So I agreed. Now the only booze intake was a hot chocolate with a single shot of Amarula and somehow I agreed. Which is rather strange as the last time I did something this stupid it took a whole night of beer drinking in bar followed by more beer drinking at my buddy Gaebriels house. Then drinking half a bottle of Jack, which I hate more than Oprah.

So this time round I was totally sober, so I blame the piles of white shit that fell out of they sky. I also blame the snow for making me do it naked ;-)

So this is also the night the heat ing the building went out and I got sick. I was also too sick to do the Polar Bear a week later.

You killed the Blow Job

I was on News 24 came across this link to a article on Women 24.

This is the part that really get's to me

Women 24: "Do the porn thing and have him stand while you go down on your knees.
Pros: If you like to feel submissive, being on your knees generally does the
trick. If you're not very excited or a little bit drunk, kneel on a cushion,
unless you enjoy a bit of pain, of course. Hey, a world of no judgement. You can
look up at him adoringly/ naughtily/ hungrily (take your pick) and this adds
zing. Men love it when you have a pube-moustache. Actually experiencing how his
legs turn to jelly when he comes makes you feel like a sex goddess. Go you!
"

Yes this we like but a pube-moustache!?! WTF? I have never even thought about it that way. I am now afraid that the next time I'm getting a blow job I will think of the pube-moustache and go limp.




Thanks women 24 for potentially ruining blow jobs for me!

Leaving South Africa - Again!

Well I have now left South Africa, again! In someways it was easier as I knew it was the right thing to do. It was still difficult leaving family and friends. Very difficuly leaving a newly formed beutifull and shiny relationship with the greatest woman in the world. There were also some interesting challenges.

The challanges.

Monday the 25th of Feb. I get robbed of $3000. So not much money to get settled when I get back.

Few days before that found out I did not get the new security clearance for my job in Vancouver. So can't have same job back.


Friday the 29th a few min before we had to leave for the airport, lightning strikes one of the palm trees in the back yard and two of them catch alight. Luckily it was raining hard and that combined with the hose pipe help extingwish the flames within 20 min or so. 15 min after they were out the fire dept showed up - thanks for the prompt responce.

On the way to the airpot a sub station got hit by lightning and the traffic lights went out and we got stuck in traffic for a bit.

At the aiport the boarding pass had the wrong gate printed on it. I found this out at the gate and then had to run across the whole airport to the proper gate. Then I found out the flight was delayed.

Landing in Vancouver after a tottal of 34 hours of travelling I had a hour long session with customs and immigration as there was a problem with my permant residant card. This was a long running problem and I feared I would not get back in. But I did.

Well I am now in Vancouver. WTF next!

out
NQC

General Knowledge - Or Lack There Of

In January, I was taking the skytrain home and started chatting with some arb girl. After a few minutes she asks me "where is your accent from? Is it Australia or New Zealand".

For those of you that don't know South Africa, New Zealand and Australia are serious sports rivals and I believe that most of us would take it as an personal insult if we were referred to as any of the other nations.

So I set her straight and told her that I was from South Africa. Her reply was "really! I have a friend from South Africa". So I replied "that's great, from which city?” To which she replied "Kenya". At this point I just walked up and went and found another seat, I could not stand that level of stupidity. Now just in case there is anyone that does not understand why I reacted like this then have a look at the map. This is a map of the African continent; it clearly shows that Kenya and South Africa are separate countries.

I stopped taking geography at the end of Grade 9. So my main source of geographical knowledge comes from TV news, documentaries and books. What amazes me is that I have a so called 3rd world education and I know these little things. Yet some one with an education from a so called 1st world country has no clue that Kenya is a country? Please Explain!

I am out

NQC

The Transit System

Why the hell do you complain about the public transit that you have? There are only 3 valid reasons to complain about, which I will cover later.

You have a reliable, relatively clean and comparatively safe transit system. You have the busses, SkyTrain, West Coast Express and the Sea Bus. You can get almost anywhere you want for a maximum of $ 150.00 per month! Come on. Ok, sometimes you need to spend a bit extra on a cab.

In South Africa the main public transit is by 16 seater "mini-busses". The majority of which are not roadworthy. One guy was caught with card board keeping his break pads in place. Most drivers do not have licenses and break the traffic laws hourly. The mini-busses are run by a number of associations. These associations have what the media has termed "Taxi Wars" where drivers and owners are assassinated. This fighting is mainly over bus routes. Obviously the innocent public also become victims. When is the last time you got shot at on the 99 B-line? Think McFly, Think! Yes I know you get the odd spot of trouble in New West and Surrey, mainly.

The bus stops and sky trains stations are clean as far as I am concerned. In SA they are pilled with rubbish, broken booze bottles and stink of human urine. Not from lack of facilities but just lack of interest from the public. Some of the garbage gets cleaned up but in winter only. But this is for the sole purpose of being stuffed in a big steel drum and burned to provide heat! I think Translink should consider putting in heaters at some of the bigger stations.

The 3 things you can complain about:

1) The Rent-a-Cops. Oh my god what a sad bunch of wankers. I think Translink gets all the VPD and RCMP rejects. But one thing they do have is the “I am a mean-bad-ass cop attitude". All they know how to say is "fare check please" and "you will have to step out at the next stop". I always pay my fare so I do not know if there are any more words in their vocabulary.

After the London bombings they were supposed to be on a higher level of alert but all these wankers were doing was checking fares and standing around talking crap to each other.

2) Smelly people. For gods sake wash! If you are in construction please do not where the same clothes every damn day. Because by end of work on Tuesdays you smell as if you bathed in perspiration, no way in hell are you gonna pick up anyone like that. Also there are so many of you that smell like wet dogs. When you get home and out of the rain, hang up your jacket so it can dry or just chuck it in the dryer for a bit. And wash every day, please god, it's more hygienic that way. And please do not give me the "but I don’t sweat" routine, it does not work!

3) The rude mofo's on the bus. It’s amazing how many people get on a bus with not even the slightest hint of a smile on their faces? These same people hit you in the head with their bags or stand on your feet without bothering to say sorry, squeeze by you with out saying excuse me, then when they get off the bus the muster the inner strength to say a meaningless "thank you" to the buss driver.

I am out

NQC